Edging away ... sometimes lifechanging decisions are taken but not enforced overnight ... they 'sip through' changing little by little. Am I the same man I was 12 months ago? Not sure but I made a decision 2 years ago and although it did not change my life right there and then it seems to be taking root and doing it now for me. Maybe patience is a virtue -- and for good reason too ! It pays off in most unexpected ways!

I wonder if a number of people around me are indeed correct - I get the impression that I am simply written off as not caring enough, that there is somehow a wall that stops overinvolvement. Is this true? Have I stopped being a real friend and have resigned to a superficial analysis of my friends' needs and wants. Am I an afterthought in their lives? Are they in mine? Does it make a difference? I ask myself whether this is simply a defence mechanism as I cope with the ever-increasing amount of 'things to do' in my life and how I perceive my role.

So Happy Easter .... may the light of resurrection light our lives ...

5 years and counting .... who would have thought? In my untrained, man-eyes, 5 years does seem like a solid amount of time for a marriage. It is not bad at all - so 5 years and 2 toddlers later here we are, celebrating this evening but I am not sure how.  Maybe getting everyone to sleep just a little bit earlier would be celebration enough. Maybe not ....

Heeeeeeeeeeere is Johny ....

What's eight months ? It's nothing - it is nothing compared to eternity, but I guess it is something, compared to what has taken place. Father again - sleepless again, and the receipient of those first-thing-in-the-morning smiles that only toddlers and young children can give you.

I have aged, my hair has gone grey and I have put on weight, which I cannot seem to shake off. I do not find time to visit any new eateries or funky new places around town; I am calculating incomes and expenses as I did when I was 20 years old, but somehow there is a sense of achievement -- and a sense that all is possible. I cannot seem to shake that - maybe it's the optimist in me seeking satisfaction.