Thursday, 14 October 2010

I have noticed some ugly trends in my personality lately... pressure makes me snap, it never used to; and then it used to give me stomach pains but I would never get angry or explode. But now I do, like a pot with too much water as it boils over. Flickers of rage directed at loved ones lasting less than a minute. But what if that changes? What if they start lasting longer? What if the rage never leaves me?

Just when we think that we are under control, something like this happens and shakes us about! I first noticed a couple of weeks ago; I have always been not-the-most-patient kid on the block but lately I lose my patience and snap at people and then I feel like one of those alcoholics that beat up his wife in a drunken stupor. I think the feeling of regret after is the worst combined with the feeling of helplessnes. At first I could not articulate what the problem was, and then suddenly last Tuesday as I was waiting for my son to finish swim lesson I realised it... there is an issue there. Something very serious needs to be addressed and the ugly monster to turn back into its box.. And it will...

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous18:07

    Να ζει κανείς ή να μη ζει? Ιδού η απορία...και αντίστοιχα 'Να εξαγριώνεται κανείς ή όχι?' 'Να ξεσπάει κανείς τα νεύρα του ή όχι'...Ε...τελικά όσο και εάν δημιουργεί ένοχα συναισθήματα και αίσθηση απώλειας ελέγχου, υπάρχουν φορές που και ο θυμός, απλά πρέπει να βγει. Έτσι απλά. Να δημοσιοποιηθεί. Να μην μείνει μία προσωπική υπόθεση. Έτσι απλά και χωρίς να πρέπει οπωσδήποτε να αφήσει κατάλοιπα ενοχής. Απλά ΚΑΙ αυτό - όπως και πολλά άλλα - θα πρέπει να γίνει με μέτρο. Η ένταση είναι μέρος της διαδικασίας λύτρωσης και η εκτόνωση μπορεί να μας φέρει ένα βήμα πιο κοντά στο να εντοπίσουμε την πραγματική ρίζα του κακού. TOULISMOM


About Me

There is not much to say that is not covered in my posts... this blog was created because, well because writing has been a passion of mine and communicating is high up there on the list too...