Tuesday, 23 June 2009
it has come to this...
Over the years I have been known to "suffer" from a host of pathologies, ranging from the mundane to the ultra-exotic... Being a biotechnologist by virtue of my academic inclination did not help in my desire to answer the question "i wonder what's wrong with me?" .
Ok so maybe hypochondria is too strong a word to use but it is likely that the shoe fits in this case! I can take on stress like no other and transform it into a form of physical manifestation that actually causes ailment! This is something that I have come to terms with it but to see it in the people around me fills me with more than sorrow. I have had certain beacons in my adult life; certain people that I turn to and whose happiness I cherish; but above that, I cherish their outlook on life, so when they describe to me mystery symptoms that can be attributed to anxiety it is earth-shattering. When the hell will it stop? This modern attitude to worry and anticipation? Not sure if it is global warming or the financial crisis or something else entirely but it seems that we are slowly placing ourselves in a position of constant worry, almost always circling around the fact that we might lose our status quo. Possessions, life style and general standard of living.
And that is the trap of possession... the price we all pay is anxiety and stress. And even though I hate it is perfectly understandable. I will be more than anxious if we cannot make rent next week; and I will be seriously stressed if we cannot pay utility bills. So why do we choose to place ourselves in this position? Because somewhere along the way we convinced ourselves that aaaall this we now call our lives is better than a small house in the country or on an island with minimal requirements. For years I have been longing to leave the 'metropolis' behind and move the family away but we never quite make it and we are not likely to... so the price tag remains... for now..